2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
