last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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