tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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