Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
