i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
