dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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