you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
