As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
