I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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