just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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