rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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