her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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