Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
