haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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