Joe is yelling at the trees again.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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