forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
