But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
