if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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