Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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