you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
