I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
