We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
