i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
they call him Oral-B. enough said
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
