I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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