My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
