Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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