At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize