i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
