i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
