Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
