i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
