I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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