I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
