Soap is not a condiment
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
