my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
