You really coming over, don't trick.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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