look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
