Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
