I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
