we're blogging at a bar
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
