I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
