Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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