the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
