Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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