his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
