I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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