I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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