His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
