You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
