thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
