we're blogging at a bar
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
